Christine Kretschmann

English short stories and poems



written by Christine Kretschmann 1.1.2008


Cats have an infamous reputation of being mundane, but this isn’t true every cat has its own character and its way to achieve things.


Do you know what does tin opener means ?

A tin opener is an euphemism for cat owner. People who hasn’t a cat see cat owners as dupes, because they do exactly what the cat want.


If a cat come into a household it is an incipient process, with no hope of cessation.

With the first jostle against your knees and a purr , you are wrest and change to a lackluster cat servant. You do inadvertently everything with the voracious believe that it carry your day .



It is ominous how fast you can turn in a tin opener. The following rules show you how it works.



  1. Cat toilet: Cats loathe unclean cat toilets, to convince the owner to clean them on a regular base, the cat reprimand the owner in behaving in any incongruous way, like use the favourite plant as a loo

    or simple spread the content of loo over the floor. The owner will clean the loo from now on regularly.


  2. Food: To get tasty cat food the cat simply repudiate the old cat food in bristle the tail, purr in caustic way or start vomiting after ate it.


  3. Cuddling: To get the right amount of cuddling the cat jostle its head against the knees and purr in a tremulous way.



The next time you meet a cat owner doesn’t show any sign of condolence, ask “How’s the cat ?” and be assure to get a nice small talk about how fabulous its cat is.






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